Saturday, December 23, 2006

Spirit of the Season

This... just this...


An era of sulking of literal self confinement ends.


A glass of port, some strawberries and chocolate, this window, Frank Sinatra's christmas songs (Oh! and there's Tenacious D telling me the 12 drugs of Christmas as well, Hail Jack Black)... Papa's Birthday has brought me the sanity I have been window -shopping in cafes, restaurants and shoes shops for.. (shopping gives me comfort. Doesn't it to all girls).


I can go on jabbering on me in my space. I can write an epic on it this moment. There is this rush of profound divinity. I have so much to share. But just this once, I want to keep it to myself, nestle it in my heart, feel safe and warm in its cocooned embrace.


Yes! I'm happy and I don't want to part with it, not just yet. Not today. Today, there is no work, no phone calls, no pending assignments, no class to attend, no notebooks to fill, no smiles to show (shallow and deep, both)


But excuse my ostentatious lines just this once.....


"Life is an Aphrodisiac... Let me get high today!"

*Merry Christmas!*

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Please Excuse

How predicatble am I? In these moments of fierce frustraiton...turning to the one window I am escaping...
Always loved to be well read, but today suddenly don't want to be heard, seen, viewed... A mockery of pubic imagery, psychologically challekneged, cynically enraged....I am a God-Damn f*&#ing idealist. Yet I can't even bring myself to write down the F-word... When did I become to closely conditioned. This world was never mine and certainly not for me. Why have things started to matter? Or do they matter???? Can't seem to figure out...
Always checked mail to see comments, but today I don't want any. Wanted to change the world, but today I just wanna disappear. I always thought happiness comes and shouldn't be chased. But the only times I've really smiled with glee is when I have commanded it. Aleways had words floating in space, ready to put together in sentences at any given time. But today, the need is strong...yet the words are amiss!
Can't justify. Don't want to. Don't need to...
Just don't want to BE....
The only one who did matter, is not here anymore....Happy Birthday Nana! wherever you are.....Still miss you....

Friday, December 01, 2006

ME

Psychopath...Psychopath...Psychopath
Psychopath...Psychopath...Psychopath