How predicatble am I? In these moments of fierce frustraiton...turning to the one window I am escaping...
Always loved to be well read, but today suddenly don't want to be heard, seen, viewed... A mockery of pubic imagery, psychologically challekneged, cynically enraged....I am a God-Damn f*&#ing idealist. Yet I can't even bring myself to write down the F-word... When did I become to closely conditioned. This world was never mine and certainly not for me. Why have things started to matter? Or do they matter???? Can't seem to figure out...
Always checked mail to see comments, but today I don't want any. Wanted to change the world, but today I just wanna disappear. I always thought happiness comes and shouldn't be chased. But the only times I've really smiled with glee is when I have commanded it. Aleways had words floating in space, ready to put together in sentences at any given time. But today, the need is strong...yet the words are amiss!
Can't justify. Don't want to. Don't need to...
Just don't want to BE....
The only one who did matter, is not here anymore....Happy Birthday Nana! wherever you are.....Still miss you....
3 comments:
oh Sharin, hang in there, may be its the weather thats making everyone blue...don't worry this too shall pass.
physical loss is immaterial-you know that better than anyone else.
limit the world and the after world and you are bound to feel like this.,
anyways i wish your nana a happy birthday wherever he is.
kabir
"I Understand" sounds so unreal... "I Feel" is all I can see. Read on and maybe you will know why....
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