Roll Call

Trapeze artists show perfect composure. At the height of their long, graceful, winding fall – they dive with passion, compassion and with purpose. Each stride in the air and leap into the unknown is piqued with the pride of trust in the anticipated abysmal nothingness. Yet there is the faith. The knowing smile, the calm eyes, upturned chin showing and the proudly arched back and the nodding head that revels in the knowing - there is a safety net at the bottom.

Days come and go. the shadow of the sun dial chases out the daylight. At the end of even an imperfect day - perfection seeks its head out. Abstinence from regularity is just a wild call away from reality. Wish for some randomness and it truly does seek you. That is something I learnt this year when 26 became more than a step ahead of the quarter mile. I run the main league now and sooner than later, my days might be getting outnumbered already. A-process-too-complicated-to-explain is no longer a guise I can hide behind anymore. Answers are supposed to be coming clearer now. The heart be more in sync with the mind. The knee is supposed to be in place and not wander away and well courage needs to be Dutch now.

It's the year of big realisations. I need to get a grab on the trapeze and fall knowing there is a safety net. If only I could see it...

Jugni

Jugni ja varhi hun pardes
jithe pa leya usne nakli bhes
Hun meri aa ve jugni
Tera ghar tu kyun vichora!

Jugni dasdi mainu kuch gallan
Apne pinde te usde ehne kaniyan
Hun meri aa ve Jugni
Tainu duniya ne samjheya khidona!

Jugni rondi saanh phar phar ke
Sun na sake koi usdi lambiyan cheesan
Hun meri aa ve Jugni
Teri nas nas wich ghul gaye tere aason ni!

Jugni raat raat buha kharkhaundi
Kis nu sunda nahin ausdiya haakan
Hun meri aa ve Jugni
Tenu bhul gaye loki vasan toh pehla hi!

Jugni baithi lassi rirhkan
hatan di lakeeran mittan
Hun meri aa ve Jugni
Teri kismat da kaagaz vi kora si!

Jugni bhul gayi apni reetan
Tambe te glassi vich kuch ohne peeta
Hun meri aa ve Jugni
Nashe wich lidh teri khilkhilahat!

Jugni di rooh kache dhage wangu phathi
Jadon phulkari di chadhar vich simti
Hun meri aa ve Jugni Tere
ishq ne pheri apni kassi ni!

Jugni pajhi, navin raaha takke
Paara di pajeba ek dujje nal laddan
Hun meri aa ve Jugni
Sansar di raahan ne tenu maari thokkar ni!

Jugni phaj aaye vaapis us hi tobe '
jithe mileya ohsnu oh moti suche
Hun meri aa ve Jugni
Ohne baha te apne saare ratan ni!

Jugni hun sutti saari raat ni
Apni kothe te littaa ohne saa ni
Hun meri aa ve Jugni
Akhan toh girl gaya aakhri moti vi!

Sanitise

a long laundromat hour, an old fade, a familiar slide of time;

soap in boxes, machines of it; a

sign begs, "Keep this place clean."

outside, the bars are so wetly lit

in their silent huddled storefronts;

buses pass by in the rain with

their peculiar leviathan sound noising the night.

electricity hums along wires

strung above the street, fine web of wire.

i wait to be inhabited. smoothing laundry,

feeding the tumbling with coins,

buses swim along the street, sighing those metal sighs.

there isn't a thing i do today

that does not have your name written, sounded into it;

sounds like something maybe looking for air,

breaching above the wetness,

maybe calling a name out into that dark, folding sky.

I let out a sigh, or wait a name;

how many washes more to wash you away

Orange!?!

It's the need to be truly rhetoric.

To fall and rise

and let fate despise.

To be inebriated

and constantly sedated

self-obsessed traumas completely unrelated

yet simple verse finds a meter unprepared

words Id rather keep in than share

for with each sigh, a wound lies to the wind bare.

Keeping the glow, the hue all in

they say it will ride me through the sin.