Monday, March 01, 2010

Suicide


Here: Nothing has changed. It's morning and it's light. She wishes her eyes were glued so the sun wouln't stream through her eyes so. It's morning and she's got nightmares stuck under her fingernails and crimson stained lips from the night before. It's morning and she doesn't remember the night before.



Here: She only likes Spring. She only likes the smell of Jasmine and she only likes white dresses with lace. She says I'm tired, tired of the snow and isn't it ironic February takes so long? She says I want birds. I want birds outside my window. She says I want to wake up, and I want to smell fresh warmth. She says, I don't want to remember the last time I felt warm. She says, I can't pretend anymore.


Here: The white walls of her tenemant are really doorways to other empty worlds. Places where everything is the same colour - cocaine/bone/teeth. She stays away from the walls, afraid sh'll crossover, afraid Alice will find white oleander wonderland, afraid she'll never find her way back. Afraid she won't want to. The floor looks like it should creak but it doesn't. The windows look poetic frames and maybe she wants to jump.


Then: She used to sing at the balcony. She used to dance in the kitchen. She used to write letters everyday. She scribbled her life. She hashtagged her soul. She poured thoughts in 140 characters or more. She couldn't write anymore. Pages went empty. Links died. He used to watch her, she remembered. He used to let her veins tear and stain the paper in words that made it all poetic and pretty, he said. You see, he thought, it was art. He told her it was the preetiest thing in the world. But now he isn't here anymore.


Then : It's morning and her skin doesn't feel as soft. Her eyes aren't limpid and brightly honey-dew. The cieling fan isn't spinning. It's morning and there are empty pages strewn on her white floor. It's morning and she opens her eyes like she's been asleep. It's morning and it seems like it's always morning. It's morning and the windows talk to her.


They call and then she jumps!

8 comments:

± said...

She needs to be stronger. The nails have to be longer. For nightmares are best torn apart.

Vivid :)

± said...

Read it again. Very nice indeed :)

Tweeting / sharing it.

Zedekiah said...

THanks + Love to be read.....mark us on twitter
sharinbhatti

:-) keep coming back

± said...

Will keep coming back.

@chakraviyuh, is now following you :)

Nemesis !!! said...

very interesting ... if it is what i understood it to be ...

...Demonos said...

state-of-mind, factual dark wittiness iLike.

Govind said...

This is some great writing. Very vivid, very poetic. I ended up here on chance and this was well worth the read.

anjali said...

..if i understood it right. . .she needs to stop waiting..!