Saturday, September 11, 2010
Meet the Enthusiast
Self definition: That is pretty much the reason for any sort of being or a ways of seeking a purpose to living isn't it? It could be as basic as the daily morning ritual of washing clothes (seriously I don't know why I have that OCD) or the way a certain word skipped scale in the second verse of that awesome alternative song (and why can't I just listen to music like a regular fan and not break it down to notes!)
Point is, we all need and constantly seek ways to evolve ourselves in order to add a word or phrase to 'who we are.' You know there is addition, when at every given occasion to define yourself you constantly keep adding designations to yourself! From being a professionally defined (or not!) someone - you also become a comic collector, a culinary zealot, a professional farter . . . (how the last one made it? I blame Twitter for it) oh there is also a new one, frequently incepted (Yes I blame Chris Nolan for it).
But think about it for a second here. If the crazy researcher was right, maybe we are all incepted from time-to-time. It is literally a thought you wake up to almost everyday or at every mouse click. I think we are losing ourselves in a self-created and self-advocated matrix of pop culture objects. Inanimate things have a way of finding 3D animation inside our minds and hearts and we somehow begin to live that new Sweedish Thriller (MUST on the noveau thriller circuit), genre-bending world cinema titles (too many to enumerate), Mad Men-esque sitcoms, webcomics, trending topics, music (electronic rock and indie yes) and of course revival of the kitsch. . . it's honestly exhausting.
An idea is truly potent, yes I agree with the dream theory and I think my domino-effect-crumbling architectural flaws in designs are quickly replacing new sights, smells - in my senses leading to greater shift in inspiration than ever before. Fine, I agree I am the flawed searcher of self-definition. So much so, that important people, numbers and dates have begun to fade from my random access memory. You see, my mental hard disk is supremely cluttered and for some reason has started auto deleting past memories to make room for new information. It struck me when I was making a mental wedding guest list and every few minutes I added someone I had forgotten earlier - you know those people called friends who have lasted you through thick, thin and the debauchery (mild!). Not that I am walking down the aisle, just the thought of it!
Seriously, I draw a complete blank sometime and at those times I am only praying that my mind is rebooting with a new installed mental app. Anyway, where was I? Yes, self definition. Till a few years ago, I was simply a journalist. Since then I have begun to say writer when asked what I do and get into this mini mumble lasting a good one-minute of what 'kind of writer' I am.
Recently I had a conversation at a much-needed, de-stressing smoke break with a senior at work and she happened to narrate a certain business jargon mumbled by another someone describing one's boss to be a 'dynamic variable.' It was like a mental click. A light-bulb Homer Simpson moment if you were to call it one. While I agreed with her, bosses are variable dynamics (meaning people who can't make up their mind) But it is true. Self definition is a variable dynamic.
I drew up a list today of the things that I think defined me. Sure enough I hit some 21 points and I knew quite well some are just goldfish-memory akin variable dynamics (yes I will use the phrase again and again thank you) So I cut the crap, talked to my Ma (totally at peace with her self-definition. Mother) and as painfully boring as it might be, I just came out with one - Enthusiast! (and you thought I'd say journalist. It's gotta be a little more cooler than that!)
But it's true. I am an enthusiast, a modern culture bred enthusiast - with the fleeting attention span of Spiderman on speedy pills. I'll find a new like as soon as you go to the mental press with it (some journalism in me) But what is intrinsic to me is that I like discovering new things. I am supremely curious by nature, so I will rummage through the trash even if something finds my fancy. I'll make it popular, till it isn't alternative anymore.
So here's to discovering myself - cheers to the inner Enthusiast! (vanity is pure contamination, but gets you through a dull at-home day!)