Monday, September 01, 2008

The relentless Insomniac

There is a ringing in my head. Like a pleasant cackle that amuses and then annoys. It comes and goes in sudden pangs of noise and vanishes. It's been three weeks and now the swollen eyes refuse to even try to shut. There's been a trip and forced escapes from reality have just boomeranged me back to where I started from - leaning on the headrest of my poster bed.
All I'm doing is negotiating sleep.Well, not all. Also writing stories, chasing deadlines, making up stories for the movies, putting paint to the canvas. Aimlessly I'm gazing around for a spark of inspiration and it comes in the form of random emails and Youtubed Michelle Obama speech. My heroes have left me and fallen from a state of grace.
It's been indifferent weather. Un-rainy, un-windy, un-sunny, un-hot, un-cold. Sheer numbeness. I hear shuffling footsteps in the corridor. Or I'm imagining them. The disquiet and Zakir's exalt of the tabla - is all that remains. Slowly, a desire surfaces - to stay put. On the crumpled night-sheet, with the remains of a conversation killed unawares.
Half-asleep or half-awake? The maudlin citizens and the obdurate elves. All reside within me.After the downpour, a cloud is left. That forgot to burst. And now by itself, is wandering, with the weight of rain in it's veins.
Somebody join the dots. Somebody rescue me from my second verse. It's not ending making way for the third. There is sheer confect.
While there is turmoil in my heart. In between somewhere there, I do say my prayers, tidy up the room, will the bad leg to walk, shed an inward tear and put up a smile. And a random a 2-minute poetry project every now and then.

7 comments:

Nothingman said...

There will be lot of time to sleep after death :P till then, make the most of the time you are awake.

You do actually. How many hours of sleep by the way?

N

Zedekiah said...

trying to make most of the waking hours...by writing about wanting to sleep....

and last night i slept....the two hour curse has been broken...

Ruchi said...

haha..this is soooooo me. sometimes when (un) luckily I doze of for more than 2 hrs, i wake up and spend next 3 hrs tryin to shut my eyes and find some solace pretending that the voices have finally shutup..oh well, all a waste.

I love this one:) and I somehow abhre the insomnia in all of us, it gets from bad to worse as the thoughts and voices crowd up your mind.
hmmm...I dont think if there is any way to rescue out of it all...just have to make our peace with it.

Harika Chadha said...

I love this: "It's been indifferent weather. Un-rainy, un-windy, un-sunny, un-hot, un-cold."

Brilliant!

Zedekiah said...

Yes Ruchi....I feel ya...still waiting for the blog to come up:-)

harika...thanks for visiting. How was Barcelona?

Anonymous said...

Hi Zedekiah,

I am not understading what is this?
This is just like painting of Husain.. nothing clear..

rajeev

Alesea said...

god....this sooo sounds like my current life.......loved this one!!!